


Cravings

by orphan_account



Series: Preppy Days [5]
Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 11:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9605375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “A lot of people get so hung up on what they can't have that they don't think for a second about whether they really want it.”― Lionel Shriver, Checker and the Derailleurs





	

**Author's Note:**

> I really wasn't sure what to do about this little drabble. It's not strictly fandom related, but I wrote it during writing the rest of Inner Steps, because I was wondering just HOW they didn't get walked in on when they were having sex in the equipment room.

Rui sees the blonde haired student being shoved by another person into a room, and immediately follows to see whether he needs to intervene. There's a narrow rectangle of glass in the door, and through it, despite the lattice of wire, he can clearly see two figures, one kneeling over the other.

Just as he's about to open the door, he sees the brown haired one bend down, and begin to kiss the other one – the kiss is reciprocated, and he knows they don't need to be interrupted. He thought maybe there would be a fight, and he sighs with relief that he won't need to break it up.

He retreats, and finds a section of wall where he can lean, nonchalantly, keeping an eye on the door, while not being able to look through the window. He can see the stairs in the peripheral vision of one eye, and he knows that no one will come through the door behind him. He takes out his phone and opens some free matching game he downloaded, just in case anyone asks why he's hanging around himself.

His mind wanders a little – he feels like a pervert for feeling the pull in his stomach at the sight of that kiss. It's been a long time since he's had a kiss with that much passion, and jealousy is beginning to flood through him, rinsing away any lingering arousal from trying, desperately, not to imagine what the two of them were still doing in that room.

He guesses these two are only slightly younger than him – he's pretty sure the brown haired one is a sixth former, he seems to remember he teaches the Saturday morning art class – how is it that they're already so charged with desire they can't wait to go home? Meng Zhi has never needed him so desperately that he'd taken him in a public place.

Rui sighs; thinking about Zhi just reminds him of how frustrated he is. After almost a year of dating, they still haven't got any further than jerking each other off. They haven't even used their mouths on each other below the waist.

He prides himself on being patient, a caring boyfriend. He enjoys how they are together, it could be enough... but then he's had to see He Tian and She Li grinding against each other at clubs too often, and he knows that it can't be enough, not forever.

The ache he feels is too much. He's not sure if Meng Zhi doesn't go further because he's scared, or he's waiting for Rui to make a move, or maybe he's asexual, because it's never come up.

He doesn't dare bring it up, if he's honest. The gay scene in their town isn't enormous, he thinks he probably knows every gay person who lives here – although he hasn't seen these two around, he figures it's the age difference – and he doesn't want to get a reputation as someone pushy. Word travels, and if he's insensitive, Zhi could destroy him.

He knows this, because he remembers how things ended up with She Li, and how he is no longer welcome in their friendship group. He knows how much Zhi misses He Tian, even though he was the one who severed contact; he couldn't bear to see the way he was treated, and his refusal to do anything about it.

This side of him is why he really does love Zhi. It's why he doesn't want to be insensitive, and why he doesn't just give in to his instincts. But it's also _why_ he gets that urge; he's drawn to his kindness, and he really believes he's the nicest person he's ever met. He took a newly outed He Tian under his wing, made sure he was safe wherever they went, tried his best to not let harm come to him. He had only stopped when He Tian had shouted at him to stop treating him like a child, to let him make his own mistakes.

He's brought around by the game on his phone flashing at him, telling him he failed the level. As he closes it, he sees the photo he has set as his background.

It was taken at New Year, Zhi and him standing in front of the Christmas tree in the centre of town, where everyone gathers to count down to midnight. The camera was facing towards them, catching them in their midnight kiss. They're both smiling, noses pressing into each other. It's not a lingering, lust driven kiss – it's familiar and warm.

Rui smiles, remembering the whispered promises they made to each other about the year ahead. The trips to new places in the summer once they'd both finished their A levels, how many times they would travel to each other's university to visit, where they would spend the next New Year Eve's.

It hits him then, and he almost can't believe he didn't realise it before – Zhi isn't in it for the short term.

He's been worrying whether he was ever going to let him have sex with him, like he was a horny teenager, and Zhi thinks about where they'll be in twelve months time.

Even though no one else knows, he feels ashamed for the thoughts he's been having. Why is he jealous of two people he doesn't even know just because they're having sex in a cupboard?

Would he even want to have sex in public? He knows Zhi wouldn't like it, he doesn't even really like having the lights left on, and he stays quiet when they're together, except for the occasional, quiet groan. He thinks about holding him, feeling his breath against his cheek as he murmurs, 'I love you, Rui,' and the feeling in his chest is tight, but warming.

He feeds on the goodness Zhi has within him, it makes him a better person. Even now, he's keeping watch over this door, just so no one walks in on these two as they get carried away.

Suddenly the compulsion to go and see Zhi is urgent. He needs to see his face, and talk about the future with him. Whatever future is on offer with Zhi, he wants it. He needs it more than he needs a quickie in a cupboard.

Glancing at the time on his phone, he realises they've been in there for about twenty minutes. He doesn't want them caught, but he has much better things to do.

He goes over to the door, determined to move them along, regardless of what stage they're at. He doesn't want to see anything incriminating, so he holds a hand over his eyes, and reaches for the handle.

He stills, listening. He can't hear any sounds, so he takes a chance and peeks through his fingers

He sees the two of them, lying spent on the gym mats, covered in a jacket. They're holding each other, tenderly, eyes closed as the brown haired one kisses the blonde one on the forehead.

He can't help but smile as he moves away again. He can wait another five minutes.

 


End file.
